Back to you.

I just took this “What’s animal were you in a past life “quiz on facebook and I turned out to be a stupid, freaking cat. Imagine myself hating myself in the past life. That would be really horrid. & now, that animal’s face is on My Wall and I seriously can’t bear to bring myself to look at it. I need to find a way to delete it and I don’t even know if it’s possible.RAH. After looking at the picture of that animal, it intensified my dislike for that animal. I’m trying to delete it. Trying, trying and trying BUT IT’S NOT WORKING D: Fine, I shall not look at my profile page until that picture of that animal disappears. Okay, problem solved!

ooooo, there’s school tomorrow. How surprising. I had a nap in the afternoon. again, for 2 hours. My mum thinks that I’m crazy since I’ve taken a liking to napping. Was talking to Esther over the phone and I said “Sometimes, I feel that when I’m about to start on my work/study for tests/crack my brain ’cause I can’t handle logs etc, is the start of a no lifer me. While, getting ready to go to bed/sleep/nap is the start of a lively life me.” It’s like when I know that I’m about to sleep, I feel like I’m doing something meaningful in the whole day ’cause I’m finally letting my body and mind rest. hahahaha. That’s just some warped theory of mine which doesn’t make sense but still makes some sense. It’s just trying to show how I really can’t stand studying the whole day.

Was on ting xie the whole day and I’m still not done with cheng yu and a.math prac was just. No comments. Logs just doesn’t like me. But it’s alright, I don’t like it either:D Oh gosh, I’m getting out of facebook (I seem to see that picture of that animal everywhere) so I’ll get out of here too!
GOODNIGHT NON-THAT ANIMALS!

Quit doing that.

and dream, tomorrow's on its way.

“If you have a great ambition,
take as big a step as possible in the direction of fufilling it,
but if the stop is only a tiny one,
don’t worry if it is the largest one now possible.”
-Mildred McAffee

I’m not suppose to be here but I’m still here. who cares man:D
Stupid chem and a.math tests. Why the poo do they have to fall on the same day? It feels terrorizing somehow. Furthermore, I’m seriously not in any mood to study which probably explains why I’m here. I’m slowly, very slowly, falling into the holiday mood. Okay, not falling, I’m in it already and I can’t pluck myself out from it. C’mon, it’s the LAST week of school people, why are there still so many tests D: Nehmind, at least there’s Much Ado About Nothing to look forward to(: RAH, I still don’t like the terrorizing feeling.

Oh poot, I lost my correction fluid and eraser. Of late, I’ve been losing things (including my memory). I don’t know why, things just fly away without my knowledge and it’s a terrible feeling to find out that you’ve lost something. I feel that those 2 things are just somewhere. Somewhere, either in school or home. I just got to find that somewhere. hmm, I’m thinking. What if one day we lose something that we can never find? Something so intangible, so close to you, so. I don’t know, I can’t think of the right adjectives to fit this now. There will most probably be like a gap just like how he felt. I’m reminded of yesterday’s convo. I guess, that’s life for you but still embrace in it, my friend.

I was just looking at my previous archives and I realise the way I blogged last time is a tad different from the way I blog now. It seems so messy. I can’t pinpoint what’s the difference, but there definitely is one. But either way, I prefer my blogging style now. & there are so many pop ups asking me to play some game which evidently I do not play games. So stop popping out, it scares. deeedle doodle toodle, okay I can’t remember what else I wanted to blog (see, my memory’s “losing”) so I shall go and learn ting xie which I believe will not be a very huge success. There’s always a tendency of falling asleep when I study for tests.

Oh yes, Kris Allen won(:

It’s like

This.
Mummy’s CD playing.
The cars passing by.
The fan spinning round and round.
These sounds, so familiar.

Heh, I don’t know why I talked about sounds, just suddenly wanted to(:
Was just looking through the pictures that we took when we went for a family trip at US last year. & I terribly miss those days. It was really fun time spent with mummy, papa and xuan. Really valuable family time that we seldom get back here at Singapore. Everyone’s so busy with work and plus the hustle and bustle of everyday, we all get so tired when we reach home.

When we go for our year end holiday trips, everyone’s relaxed and chilled. Paps isn’t busy on his laptop checking mails or on the phone talking to his clients, Mummy isn’t busy looking at every corner of the house or asking us to drink some chinese herbal thing(which she has cleverly picked up this “skill” from my grandma), xuan isn’t busy on the computer and playing his games to kill some monster and I wouldn’t be busy sleeping or doing work.

Singapore should have this one week holiday that is solely for family bonding. First, families get to bond; second, we students won’t go blind by studying for our countless test; third, parents won’t have to work. It’s like killing 3 birds with 1 stone. In fact, I think it’s more than 3. It’s the time that we all need but is seldom granted.

My mum didn’t speak to me about some kind of family value thing but it’s the small little things that she has been doing which really made me realise that I have been neglecting my family. & it somehow hit on me, that I’m not going to continue to do that ’cause I guess, it hurts to be neglected. Furthermore, we are the Tan Family so the 4 of us makes us F-A-M-I-L-Y, no matter what happens(:
It’s all me and my reflective side again. I like it when I reflect ’cause that’s when I see all my faults. Not that it’s nice seeing your faults but it allows you to change for the better.

Oh oh, isn’t that image up there cooler now! It’s paps orange sunglasses which I took while he was skiing up there, in the mountains of US. Really, those times, I really do miss them.

Family's like jam sticking 2 pieces of bread together; forever.

Pig in.

Sweetie cakes(:

It was night after piano.
A blistered feet,
a trip to ah ma’s house.

Family feeling.
Zeph and Mei mei,
Ah ma and Xiao Gu.

I traded math time for some family time and a smile.
It was worth it.

And I told myself,
this is probably one of the reasons why I’m still living. Living for my life and family and not for stupid tests and school.

Today’s mummy was a far cry from yesterday’s mummy.
Things seem pretty normal right now and I really hope it stays this way.
I really don’t like it when my mum starts yelling and we both piss each other off and not talk for days.
Family needs communication, mutual understanding and of course, love. I’ll try my best not to piss her off so she won’t get pissed (which upsets my dad and then my brother somehow gets involved) and then we will be a happy family(:

Oh, we met up with vanes yesterday after guides(:
A really good catch up besides the fact that I kept slipping into sian/stone mood. Yesterday, was really not one of my best. Let’s hope such days won’t happen that often! It felt really good to able to see vanes again since we didn’t see each other for a long time and I bet, June hols wouldn’t be any better. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, SIM VANESSA!:D and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO, SONG AILYNN!:D

Time check:5:15.
Crap. I haven’t done any work since last night till now. But I was with family the whole day, so it’s not too bad(:Gah, but still, we are at this again. Work, school, test, stress. Isn’t there anything new?

C’mon, Grant me something to cling on.

The image up there.

Okay, the image up there isn’t very nice but just endure with it and I’ll put a pretty one up there soon(:

Goodnight and lit and a.math don’t want to be good friends with me and there’s school tomorrow D: & the thing is, I’m really not feeling any tinge of guilt/sadness/whatever-that-I’m-suppose-to-feel-when-I-don’t-do-any-school
-related-stuff-over-a-longgg-weekend.

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.

The morning sun shines in, the birds are chirping, Daddy’s car just just drove off from the driveway.
I look up at the clock which says 7:40. What a nice morning to start with(:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEIQI:D
Ever since the day that I came back from camp which was Friday, I haven’t really got down to doing anything; be it studying for tests or homework.

I think I was really having a sleep marathon, like seriously. I woke up at reasonable times of the day but then after breakfast, I would stone, stare at my homework, pickup my pen, which supposedly should be writing furiously for the Lit Test prac, but instead, it just rest comfortably on my hand. I just don’t know what to write for it. What the poo, there goes my lit test. Next, I tried to read MSND, to familiarise myself with quotes and the meanings but my brain was malfunctioning. Like always.

After 2 VERY successful attempts to do Lit, I decided to do A.math. & it turned out VERY WELL indeed. Let me tell you my even more successful attempt of doing A.math. I couldn’t do a single question(okay, I knew how to do a few), I didn’t know when to apply the whatever theorems, I couldn’t find proof to prove that 2 triangles are congruent/similar and I was getting sleepy and tired and my eyes were getting droopy. Oh yes, you do know what’s next when all of this happens:SLEEP. I slept straight through my breakfast, my lunch (which I was forcefully woken up by my bro, but he didn’t succeed) and woke up in the evening.

Yesterday was worst, ’cause I practically tried to sleep wherever I was. Btw, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MUMMY😀 I think I slept through the whole day, even when I was watching tv, drinking water, having lunch, brushing my teeth etc. I just conked out. I don’t know how I did all that, but I just did it. & I’m still in the camp mood which, I guess, isn’t very good, ’cause it’s stopping me from revising for tests since I can’t concentrate. I WANT CAMP, I WANT THOSE 3D2N AGAIN. But one good thing that I’ve done so far is that I managed to jog yesterday with my dad to maintain my stamina since 2.4’s this week!D: It was ages since I ran, rather satisfying(:

Okay, I shall go have my breakfast and let’s see how the day is going to be, probably in my bed most of the time:p I think I’m in some deep poo trouble ’cause I can’t stop sleeping. HAHA, GOOD DAY😀

3LOYALTY & WEILONG & SHUXIAN<3

I want nobody, nobody, but 3L<3456789

OLD MR NAH HAS LOVELY 3L,
EEYAH EEYAH OH!

CAMP WAS A FANTASTIC, INCREDIBLE, FANTABULOUS, AMAZING, MIND BLOWING, HYPED BLAST! I don’t think any words would fit the best ‘cause camp was just awesome like THAT, beyond words.

Neway, I shall attempt to post all that has happened in the past 3 days and I’m pretty sure when I look back one day, I will be smiling to myself and thinking of those good ol’ days(:

Day 1,060509.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BARBARA AND CHRISTINE!:D
We assembled at the forum on Wednesday and after some time, we got to know who were our instructors and they are the cool and funky SHU XIAN & WEI LONG! All classes were seperated iinto 2 groups, MUNICH(Group 13) & MELBOURNE(Group 12). Boarded the bus and Bern, Meiqi, Eunice and I sat right at the back. On our way there, Shu Xian taught us the OIIIII cheer and we tried out our class cheer! Got hold of our bandanas, which I had conveniently, decided to call it bananas since I always mispronounce it and moks always shouts at me for that:p Played around with it, tying it on our heads and looking like lovely villagers(:

Pink bananas!

Eunice, Bern, I:D

Bern, Eunice, I:D

All animals, except for me, the human:D

Reached the campsite!
Everyone listened so quietly to the briefing and it was off to our new sleeping places-huts. & then, it was lunch, which was O.O We had to queue really long queues to wash our plates in pails of water which had grains, grease, oil etc, felt gross but I think it’s a totally cool experience. I mean where/when else can we ever do this if not now!
After food, was the first activity-NAVY SEAL.
We had to create a simple raft with 4 wooden poles which the whole group could fit in and make a big lollipop with 1 layer or newspaper and some pathetic amount of tape. After the first 2 rounds, we felt a little discouraged ’cause we broke our pole and were our big lollipop was greatly attacked. BUT, we didn’t give up and continued to persevere & with the help with our marvelous ally, GROUP 12, our lollipop managed to stay dry!:D WE WERE SO PROUD OF OURSELVES MAN:D Just started screaming and cheering our heads off. I could definitely see our class spirit, our class unity and we all knew that the first 2 rounds of failure was totally worth it(: Chief Tim did debrief and reflection.

What comes after a game of fun was an inspirational talk from Miss Lim(:

What you are is God’s gift to you,
What you make of yourself is your gift to God.
I should be motivated by what I believe I can become.

It really set me thinking and somehow, I always like this kind of talks, ’cause it makes me reflect on who I am, what I want to be and my purpose in having a life on earth(:

Shower time. Like finally.
But after shower, I realised that there wouldn’t be any difference if I had not showered. Sweating all the way luh. Washed our hairs(Is there a plural for hair? ’cause it looks really weird here) at the open concept showers, foamed our faces and queued for cubicles.

& It was time to stuff ourselves with food again, and it was totally gratifying ’cause no matter what time it was, I was always feeling hungry.
HUNGRY CHEER! This time round, people were eating at supersonic speed and running to the baisin of waters/dustbins/baisins ’cause nobody wanted to queue those long queues again. I thought it was quite funny. Campfire prep was after that and it was rather nerve wrecking ’cause there were alot of unsettled things but there was just so little time D: EATING TIME AGAIN:D plus debrief then it was sleep time and I was expected to sleep with sweat and stickiness and grossness but I couldn’t be bothered, I was really tired. snore snore.

Day 2, 070509.

Woke up early. ROPE COURSE CHALLENGE, HIGH ELEMENTS DAY:D
I did rope climbing and the rock wall was freak hard to climb luh but thanks 3L for cheering me on!(: Like what Shuxian said: It’s not that scary/difficult to climb up the rock wall but what was difficult was to take the first step. How true.
& OUR HEROINE-TEO MEI QI, CLIMBED ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP OF THIS SUPER IMPRESSIVE, TOUGH WALL:D Our whole class was cheering for everyone and I really love the spirit(:

Lunch time, YAY, FOOD😀
After lunch was Team Challenge. There was this MRT tracks with marble game and human entanglement and magic carpet. The MRT tracks one really required loads of focus and team work, the human entanglement required our perseverence and determination and the magic carpet required our high tolerance level of heat and stinky sweat. & WE MANAGED TO SUCCEED IN ALL 3 GAMES:D Just another time when 3L really shows the strong bond amongst us. It was really heartening to see that everyone continued standing on the carpet before the whole thing could be flipped over, although sweat and stickiness and heat were present with all of us over each other. 3 LOYALTY FTW:D

Shower time, which suppose to mean that we are clean and nice smelling but we weren’t but then again, it’s camp and I totally don’t mind(: Had dinner duty so we ate dinner early before heading to our respective places. Pressing taps could really train up your arm muscles man.

CAMPFIRE, BURN BURN BURN!
This was just cool cool cool! Classes took turns to go up to put up their items and it was really a great laugh!:D & We were screaming and cheering our heads off and getting high and crazy:D Really really lovely! Had supper, FOOD AGAIN:D After that, we had debrief with Shu Xian and Wei Long. Apparently, it was Shu Xian’s last camp before she would be heading for another path in her life. We were all pretty sad but she said that she was really glad for having such an awesome class, like us, to end of her instructor career. WHOO, IT’S 3 LOYALTY YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! Good luck Shu Xian, for whatever you will be doing and let’s hope we can see each other one day, be it in a camp or just along the streets(: Same to you too, Wei Long!

Sleeping time was just horrible.
There seemed to be a freaking snake hiding in the freaking tree so I didn’t dare to sleep and I didn’t dare to go to the toilet and I was just really really scared to the point that I started crying. Okay, sounds stupid, but seriously, it’s scary. Thanks people for comforting me and reassuring me that there wasn’t any idiot snake there(: STUPID SNAKE.

Day 3, 080509.

THE LAST DAY D:
Washed hair with Ailynn in the morning and I think her shampoo is still with me. We were almost late so we hurry squashed everything into our bags and quickly ran to the parade square. After pledge taking, Miss Lim told us that MAS SALAMAT WAS CAUGHT!
Breakfast was nasi lemak! No washing of plates(: We were suppose to do area cleaning after that but since there was lightening alert, we stayed in the MPH, being entertained by the instructors funny antics(: We wanted to take a class photo and Shu Xian was helping to clean huts so we shouted her name so thundering loudly and she ran in the rain as we cheered her on. Our voices were so rough and low and hoarse but who cares, we still cheered really loudly!

Closure for camp):
We wrote affirmation notes to people whom we wanted to thank(:
Bern, Eunice, Esther, Moks and I passed our letters to Wei Long and Shu Xian then we sang Ai Wo Sheng Ni Ge La and yeah, camp broke D:

Boarded our buses and we cheered this cheer for everyone in our class, instructors and Mr nah(: Back at school, we took pictures with our lovely instructors before being chased home!

Wei Long & Shu Xian!:D

& so, THAT WAS THE CAMP!:D

I’m already missing camp really terribly, all the things that we did over there and all the laughs that we shared etc. But all good things must come to an end and like what Ailynn told me: We move on with what we’ve learnt from the camp and we can always look back at the times we shared and smileeeeee(:
Thank you High Achievers and St Nicks’ for organizing such a camp for sec3s(:
My class, 3 LOYALTY, would be the class that I’ll be with till the end of my secondary life and honestly, THEY ARE JUST THIS PRETTY, SEXY, COOL, HOT, FANTASTIC, NUTTY, FABULOUS BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE(:

Order! -clap clap clap-
OH MR NAH HAS LOVELY 3L,
Eeyah eeyah Oh!
AND IN 3L, HE HAS 35 ATOMS
Eeyah eeyah Oh!
AND A 3L HERE, AND A 3L THERE,
3L, 3L, EVERYWHERE
OH MR NAH HAS LOVELY 3L,
Eeyah eeyah Oh yeah!
Oh! Let’s get this party goin’!
As we go, shake it, shake it, shake it,
Shake it like 3 Loyalty!
-clap clapclap clapclap clap clapclap clapclap clap-
3L!
L -clapclap clapclap-
O -clapclap clapclap-
L -clapclap clapclap-
L-O-L
LOYALTY OUT LOUD!

You’ve given me such wonderful memories that I will never be able to erase no matter how tough the walks may be. We’ll stay in this together, in rain or shine(:

LOG tree branch leave.

My right eye has been hurting me since this morning. Even when I blink my eyes, I can feel the strain and pain):
RAH, What’s wrong with the eye? Math made it worse, logs logs logs and more logs. I want to see trees instead.
Green’s good for the eye(: Am I too tired or is my right eye going to be damaged or something. C’MON, RIGHT EYE, MUST BE STRONG OKAY. Oh and I think Yixuan is so funny to sit with(: First day with my may partner!

There’s camp tomorrow, YAY:D 3 LOYALTY, WE ARE ALL GOING TO ROCK MR SPOTTY’S SPOTS WITH OUR BANDANAS:D
I want to talk about monday. Yeah, it’s the music MidY. I think I’m going to fail and practically everything that I’ve tried to cram into my puny brain wasn’t of any use to me. Holy cow. I don’t know why but I’m not greatly affected by the fact that the whole MidY is kind of beyond the valley of passing marks, instead into the valley of failing marks.

We sat at the “roadside” while waiting for Ruth the toad’s mum to come pick us up. Not exactly a roadside but it’s something that I don’t really know the words to describe it.I told her, wouldn’t it just be great if one day if we could sit here whole day long, observe Singaporeans and the world around us that we normally don’t pause to take a closer look.
She thinks I’m crazy ’cause she’s always crazy but I think it’s an awesome idea. I’m going to persuade her to do that with me one day(:

I forgot to bring my MSND book back and that’s not good news at all, ’cause there’s test next week so let’s hope my not-very-forgetful brain would remind me to get it from class tomorrow morning!

Oh crapeedoodles, I can feel my right eye decreasing in size.
SEC3CAMP SEC3CAMP SEC3CAMP.

Mr beannnn.

I just realised that the baby’s name isn’t Aimee Zelda:o
We went over to my grandma’s house yesterday and xiao gu told me that the baby name has yet to be confirmed so we are just sticking to calling her “mei mei” for the time being(:

I carried her and she was absolutely so fragile, so light and delicate; afraid that I was going to break her bones by just one move. While holding mei mei, I was reminded by the book that I read quite some time ago where the baby, Willow, had some bone disease and even when she sneezes she breaks a thousand bones. Whatever Willow does, there’s always a great possibility that she will break this bone here and that bone there. & that was what I was worried about when I carried mei mei yesterday.
Okay, it’s just my crazy mind that’s running wild, she won’t have that disease, ’cause she’s a blessed little girl(:

I want to upload the peekturesss that I took of mei mei yesterday but then the usb cord conked out. Yeah, it has actually conked out for a gazillion years:p RAH. I’ll get my dad to do something about it, definitely. [Now, calling her mei mei sounds reatarded here, but yeah! It’s alright, it sounds sweet too!]

After dinner with grandma and grandpa and family, reached home and took up my book and started reading it. Was so absorbed in it that yeah, I told myself I decided to sleep only after I’ve finish the book and sure I did. Rather cool book but not any of the best that I’ve read so far. The next shall be The Memory Keeper’s Daughter. Zodiac says it’s nice(:

School’s tomorrow and I’m not exactly looking forward to it, for a very simple reason ’cause there’s music mid years and honestly, I’m not even at the first word of the first sentence of the first topic of my many notes:o That spells total trouble. uh-oh, RAH RAH.

Sometimes, you find that you want to think about nothing but just relaxing, but the minute you start doing that, somehow someway, all your problems and issues just start making its way into your brain and then confusing you and in the end, you don’t get any peace at all and you feel sinful like a fool for relaxing. It’s like you are doomed/cursed that you will forever have these stupid nitty gritty nonsensical issues to bother you all the time. Oh well, but without them, life prolly wouldn’t be that fun and challenging and AWESOME!:D

I shall stop gabbling and go STUDY the first word of the first sentence of the first topic of my many notes, I can so do this. But first, I pray for my brain cells and my soul.

A day called today.

Swine Swine Swine.
It’s the swine season now, guys. Totally sucks ‘cause people are slowly dying and we can’t go visit the little cutie pie and xiao gu in the hospital):
Neway, like the little cutie pie’s brother, Zephanire Anthony Ong, she has a really unique name, Aimee Zelda Ong. Xiao gu really has a thing for such unique names(:

Little Aimee(:

Labour Day.
For once, a holiday that has come at the right time(:

Woke up to the afternoon sun,
Brushed those teeth,
Had a sudden craving for ice cream
which I opened the refrigerator to satisfy that craving of mine.
& I say life is great this way.

Wandered around,
Heard voices and sounds and felt the wind blow past.
Dug into my bag, grabbed my pencil box and geog notes.
Drainage basin, lag time, hydrograph.
Technical names that always fail to register in my brain.

I could absorb no further,
So I got something nice to munch on.
& I say life is great this way.

Clouds, a vast land right in front.
A field of well harvested crops; a sheet of yellow.
Rides on horses and donkeys, feed the chickens, talk to the pigs and milk the cow.
& I say life would be greater this way.

Random thought of wanting to live in the countryside again(:
I feel like playing with ice cream now and throwing those gummy teddy bears into someone’s mouth and have it raining candies and fries now. Lol, I must be hungry, mmm.
Rah, I’m feeling dreamy and awfully weird now.

I think I need a sleep marathon badly. If we sleep for a whole week, without waking up, do you think after we all wake up, we would be able to not sleep for another whole week? It would be good if we could!:D

Tuesday was Cip with Ailynn and I think Wednesday was like glitter day with Esther. During Chinese, we were playing with Eunice’s glitter (sorry, chimpanzee!). Then we tried to put glitter on Ailynn’s hair and into her pen and Kengyi’s uniform and bag. Super funny but yeah, had to contain our laughter which was really hard and painful for the tummy. But then, the smart ailynn went to swop my pen “container”with hers. So mean right! & our “plan” to get glitter on both of them, didn’t turn out to be quite successful:p Continued playing with the glitter and realised, to our horror, the floor was shiny:0

Thursday was the last day sitting with my April partner, Barbara): But, I gave her a pack of OREO!:D My May desk partner’s Yi xuan(: I’m thinking of changing this blog skin again, hmmm.
Camp’s next week!:D

“Lookie lookie LOOK! It’s BARNEY!” Haha!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, APPLEHEAD!