Looking back on the tears would make me laugh

So I cut my hair twice this week:D and yes, all by myself. Okay, my brother was involved too. The first time, I cut my fringe was because I felt it quite irritating since it was too long. The second time, I cut my fringe was because esther said that since my hair’s in a neither short nor long length, I might as well just cut it all short, something like bangs. I did and it turned out awful ’cause it wasn’t straight, it was sooo uneven. This was when my brother took part in my hair cutting exercise which I have done for more than 5 times? Yeah, around there. I told him that I wanted my fringe to be as straight as a ruler, so he really went to take a ruler placed it on my fringe and cut it straight according to the ruler. The aftermath was horrendous but at least it turned out better than if I just left my fringe that way with the means of my destruction. HAHAH:D I don’t even know how to describe myself, I even get traumatised looking at myself in the mirror and I can hear myself screaming inside and outside too. Then I asked my bro, “If you were just some random little boy and not my brother and you see me on the bus with my newly-cut fringe, what would be your first thought?” He replied, “Disgusting.” I just screamed, disgusting?! HAHAH, but it’s all my fault, who can I blame but in the end, we just kept laughing at my dumb fringe and my dumb self for actually being so rash in doing that.

School this morning was just a whole new experience~
When I got out of the car, there was this whole hoard of people who just alighted from the bus at the traffic light and somehow, I felt like all eyes were on me, like everyone was staring at my indescribable fringe, even when we were crossing the road, I could see from my peripheral vision that people were just gawking at me. Gawking is such a word to be used here but that was what came into my mind:D It’s probably just the psychological self-consiousness in me. Stepping in class was just…unbearably funny. HAHAH, I was actually laughing along with so many friends about the great act that I’ve done to my beautiful self (see esther, I just said it, and you realise I neh even blame you about you playing a part in making my fringe in today’s state!) And melberly, she’s fantastic. When we were in the drama studio and we were asking everyone to hurry sit down, she just looked at me and started bursting out in laughter and just kept saying “Your hair, your hair. HAHAHAHAHA” It was endless.

I just spent two paragraphs talking about my hair, I’m so hopeless. I think I’ll be hanging on to this for awhile till the fringe returns to an appropriate and suitable length. Don’t mind me, life will still go on as per normal!(: OH, something else. While on our way home today, meiqi, esther and I were sitting in the bus and we were talking about some serious stuff. I was thinking since today we had reflection day, let’s talk about something more senseless, unrealistic, retarded, foolish, out of the world, unique, never imagined, brainless stuff. I mean, it would all make us feel a little happier after what we had in the day. So we did that and guess what we talked about? MY FRINGE:D “I’ve mang-ed hair” Right, esther and meiqi?(: But, all of this really made me laugh alot and I’m sure everyone was entertained. It’s really one of those happy days where there are no lessons and for once we can just let go of everything and have a good laugh:D

Reflection day.
It was reflective and I realised that I had alot in mind when the session was carried out. Many real life stories were shared and they showed a lot of human compassion and resilience. We always tend to not treasure, truly treasure the things and people we have, only when something tragic happens, when we are met with natural life processes like death. Is it in the human nature for us to do that? I always feel that when I really try to not take things for granted and cherish all that I have in life, I somehow drift away from that path, I end up making mistakes again. Stories and advices have told me enough that I have to be thankful for everything and everyone but I don’t know why and I really want to know why, no matter how many stories or how much advice, I veer away and time again, take my loved ones and friends for granted. Is it really true that I must face something tragic before I get to seriously grab hold of all my friendships and family relations strongly? People always say: Treasure the people you have now, for when at the least unexpected times, you’ll lose them and then regret. But, can we really do that? Can I really do that? It’s not about a person’s character or attitude, but I’m looking at it from human’s nature, something which is just already in us. So, this makes me very confused ’cause each time I say hurtful things to someone, I quarrel with my parents, my grandparents, it makes me feel like a really horrid person ’cause after I calm down and think about it, I realise I didn’t treasure them even though I said I would. Let’s say now, I have this strong surge in me to find out why I can’t do that?

I think I feel confused now, hahah! Besides that lingering question and thought in mind, today’s reflection day was quite a “huge success” for me. I like reflection days and I’m glad our school always have one day reserved for this ’cause every year, at this day, I think about what happened in the year and all that I’ve been through with not just my friends but my family. It may be happy, it may be sad, but all of it strengthened the bond between everyone of us. When the songs were played, my thoughts started drifting back to last year, like what esther said, it was really one of the most memorable years with such fond memories. Some of the things that happened makes me feel regret, some of happiness, some of sadness, some of injustice, some of gratefulness and some of family and some of friendship. Whatever it is, thank you everyone, there are just so many of you to name, for being by my side in supporting me and always giving me hugs whenever I’m down:D

GOODNIGHT, FRIENDS(: It’s a lovely night, tonight, so sec fours, JIAYOU and hang in there, you can do this(:

(I’ve actually quite some more to say, but I’m kind of blinded by too much typed words and the light coming from the computer and probably radiation and all that nonsense, so I’ll stop:D)